Joseph’s Garden Beginnings
“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.”
― Jamie Anderson
I’m not sure how to start this so I guess I just start from the beginning. Joseph was my brother. Joseph is and will always be my brother. We were born nearly 10 years apart, but Joe took a liking to me instantly. I can’t say the same for our brother Paul, who was not too fond of the idea of no longer being the baby, but I like to think I wore him down eventually!
Joe and I had a lot of similarities, which often got us into trouble, with our parents and with each other. Both stubborn, opinionated, and a bit of a know-it-all. The arguments we would have! They frustrated me so much, and yet now I’d give anything for one more battle of wits with him. We never stayed mad for long though. If there was one thing in this life that we both knew, it was that the people you love and that love you have your back no matter what. Joe probably apologized more to me than I ever did to him. He was better than me that way (stubborn, see?).
The night Joe died felt like a bad dream. Something we’d all wake up from eventually. But the days ticked on, and it became more and more real. He was gone and all that was left were memories and our coulda-woulda-shouldas. Even when you see someone every day you still wonder if they knew how much you loved them when they’re gone. You think about all the things you should have done together.
I built a wall around my brother. Keeping him an arm’s length away because I was afraid of being hurt. I hurt all the time now, guess I should have told him the things I always wanted to. Should have asked him to go on those trips with me. I should have apologized, at least once. I should have rebuilt what was broken before it was too late.
What does this have to do with Joseph’s Garden? Well, when my mom started toying with the idea of creating something in Joseph’s name, I knew we needed to do something big. How can we keep Joseph’s life visible to others? Because we did not want to forget his purpose in life. We decided a flower garden would brighten this world and give people a reason to stop, reflect, and breathe.
The creation of the garden has been a labor of love. Joseph’s garden has been a place where I could put all my anger, guilt, and regret. Something to show for Joe’s life. A place to feel his presence and the presence of others who we have loved and lost.
Joseph’s garden is located on the northern strand bike trail in Malden, MA crossing Maplewood Street. It is behind the home that Joe grew up in, where so many memories were shared with him. With this garden we bring together community and love.
Many hands built this garden. Because so many people loved and still love Joe. The people who have supported our journey are so important to us, to Joe, and to his legacy. We could not have done this without all of you.
Joe was a larger-than-life man, and we hope that when you visit the garden you feel his presence, his warmth, his strength, and his determination. He is never far from any of us, but we hope this garden keeps his name going and lets others, who didn’t have the pleasure of meeting him, know the amazing man he was.
If you visit the garden, we hope you take a moment to reflect and think about the people in your own life. People you love. People who deserve your forgiveness. People you want to see more of. Have a moment of peace and smile and smell the flowers.
If you are reading this, please leave a comment here or on Instagram with a favorite memory of Joe or of someone in your life that you miss that you would like to remember. ❤
